Dear Irv,

I watch (and enjoy) your VH1 show, Gotti's Way .

Honestly, I'd never given much thought to Murder Inc. or the people behind it. I'm not a fan of Ashanti (please, can you find her a musical identity before her next CD) and I can take or leave Ja Rule - especially when he gets too sing songy - though his new buffed bod is some serious video eye candy. Still, I've nodded my head to some Murder Inc. head bangers and found myself pulled into your show from the first ep.

I love how you come across as a big ol' teddy bear. The way you wrinkle your nose when you're tickled about something is nothing short of adorable.

You're a good dad - something that has become less and less a pre-requisite among some men, these days when they marry/date/whatever.

And, there's nothing wrong with watching someone get their true, legitimate hustle on. Our country was built on nothing less.

BUT - you knew there was a but, right?

But, dude you are so wrong!

Until the most recent episode (when Deb tries dating) I could see how your marriage, as unorthodox as it is, could have ended up where it is and how you all justify it. Although, you're way too cocky and glib when you tell people that if your wife was actually "the one" it would have been enough for you to stop cheating.

Man, please! Your cheating is about you, not her.

But it's not all you. Deb, sis, you and DMX's wife need to befriend some women outside the Hip Hop circle because there is more to life than what you're husbands are giving you. Seriously!

Nonetheless, I'm not unsympathetic to living with the choices we make in our lives. And you two are making the best of the situation you've created.

With celeb couples lasting all of a minute and even everyday Joe and Jane Blows breaking up on a whim, what you're doing is as close to admirable I've seen in awhile as far as public displays of relationship building.

I.G. where you hit the wall with me, was that one little comment you made about Deb. Are you serious? What kind of male bullshiggity was your statement that you can't help that her options are limited in dating since she's 1) used to the lifestyle you've given her and 2) has kids at home.
That was the worst male chauvenist crap I've ever heard.

Weren't you a part of putting her in that "situation?" And do you honestly think she's only holding onto the strings of your marriage because she likes to shop and drives a nice car?

Just how stupid are men, anyway?

I'm really hoping that you and Deb have worked out a better structure to your fragile relationship. Yes, I'm totally rooting for you guys to work this out.

By now, the filming for the show is over and the end is what it is.

Maybe it will take Deb divorcing you or God forbid finding a man who makes her happy beyond material lifestyle trappings to make you understand the part you're playing in you guy's "situation."

Isn't that usually the way with your sex? School of hard knocks or nothing at all, ay?

Sorry, lapsed into a little male bashing. Just saying, from my side of the boob tube, you're an easy person to like. I can see why you and Deb remain friends. But, lately your pigheadedness is making you blind. It's not a good look.

Reality TV has deadened my ability to see beyond the "character" most Reality TV personalities created for themselves. But you and Deb are the rare RTV personalities who reflect genuine intentions.

So I wish you guys well. Just wake up, Irv.

Either sever the ties of your marriage and find a way to remain that good dad and friend to your ex or come home, determined to be faithful. You owe that to your fam.

See you Monday night.

-P