In Good Company
There are a few facts I've come to terms with about my writing life that, nonetheless, still stress me now and again.
1) The chance that I'll always have to maintain a FTJ even as I continue to sell books.
2) My writing time is more likely to shrink than grow, especially since I'll always have a FTJ. I'll always have a family. I'll always want a life outside of those things. I sort of enjoy sleeping.
There are days when I feel as if I'm the only writer in the world continuing to angst over these things. Forget that I can't control either one or that it's been a stark reality almost from day one, so six years later it should be like, whatever. It's not.
The reality is easier to swallow when I'm reminded that I'm not alone in my feelings or my struggle.
Like manna from heaven, Emily St. John wrote a sobering, yet enlightening post about Working The Double Shift (also known as Paula's life) and YA author, Sarah Dessen posted about the special challenges us mothers face when we've got to get some words on screen.
Both pieces calmed my usually frazzled nerves. I'm not thrilled about the prospect of being on a professional treadmill my entire career. Nor can I say, I'm totally at peace with having to squeeze writing time in where I can. I consider writing what I do. It's my job, albeit not my sole job. So "squeezing" in time to do it offends my writer's sensibilities. I mean what would my supervisor at the FTJ say if I said "well, let me see if I can squeeze coming in, today?"
Yet, it's my reality - good, bad, or ugly. Glad to know I'm in very good company.
1) The chance that I'll always have to maintain a FTJ even as I continue to sell books.
2) My writing time is more likely to shrink than grow, especially since I'll always have a FTJ. I'll always have a family. I'll always want a life outside of those things. I sort of enjoy sleeping.
There are days when I feel as if I'm the only writer in the world continuing to angst over these things. Forget that I can't control either one or that it's been a stark reality almost from day one, so six years later it should be like, whatever. It's not.
The reality is easier to swallow when I'm reminded that I'm not alone in my feelings or my struggle.
Like manna from heaven, Emily St. John wrote a sobering, yet enlightening post about Working The Double Shift (also known as Paula's life) and YA author, Sarah Dessen posted about the special challenges us mothers face when we've got to get some words on screen.
Both pieces calmed my usually frazzled nerves. I'm not thrilled about the prospect of being on a professional treadmill my entire career. Nor can I say, I'm totally at peace with having to squeeze writing time in where I can. I consider writing what I do. It's my job, albeit not my sole job. So "squeezing" in time to do it offends my writer's sensibilities. I mean what would my supervisor at the FTJ say if I said "well, let me see if I can squeeze coming in, today?"
Yet, it's my reality - good, bad, or ugly. Glad to know I'm in very good company.
posted by Paula at 9:09 AM
2 Comments:
Thanks for posting that essay, Paula.
I've been stressed out lately that I haven't had time to work on my revision.
But I know I must face reality. The day job may be here to stay for me right now as well.
I've already worked 40 hours and it's only Wednesday! :(
However, I still commend you--I've always looked up to you as the master of time management! You still get a LOT of stuff done.
Karen, the last year or two my focus has been on just that - not stressing about what is ultimately our daily existence. Some days you just can't squeeze it in. No matter how much I see writing as my job the truth is it's not my only job. And when my brain is too tired I have to let it rest.
The biggest difference between how I see it now vs. how I saw it four years ago is that I'm much better at being at peace with it, when I can't write for the day. It's done wonders for what's left of my sanity. ;-)
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