18 Things...
Jordan, the official BEDA Coordinator (ooh that sounds so professional), had a he-larious blog about 18 Things You Should Do Before You're 18 as dictated by Reese's Puffs cereal.
Yeah, because Reese's is a known expert on living life to its fullest.
Well it got me thinking. A most dangerous thing in most cases. I think I've lived a pretty full life. That doesn't mean I could die happy tomorrow, because there are plenty things I still want/need to do. Hear that Gods of Fate!
Anyway, but because Reese's is a renown source on how to grab life's brass ring, I thought I'd see just how full my life has been. I'm looking at the list below both in terms of whether I accomplished any of these things before 18, which full disclosure was some time ago, and if I've accomplished them since.
1. Ride the world's biggest roller coaster.
I was deathly afraid of roller coasters until I was about thirteen when my father forced me to ride one in Myrtle Beach. I was hooked, immediately, but riding the biggest by 18? No.
Kingsdominion and Six Flags were the closest parks, within driving distance, and while you risked whiplash on most of KD's rickety wooden coasters, none of them stood at record-breaking heights.
However, I did ride Six Flags' Superman coaster about five years ago, well beyond the 18 mark and it occurred to me that very day, as I rode up the ninety degree incline, that I was too old to be trying to conquer bigger and faster coasters.
Thanks Six Flags for curing me of my roller coaster obsession!
Verdict: Half a check for braving all of the coasters within my reach.
2. Bungee jump!
Yeah right! Look, bungee jumping looked stupid when it came out and it looks stupid now. Come to think of it, I don't even know if bungee jumping was invented when I was eighteen. It may have been something that came a few years after, when I was in college. Either way, didn't do it, never would do it, ain't gonna happen Reese's.
Verdict: Pffft!
3. Score the winning goal/basket
I love *watching* basketball. I adore ballers who look all sexy running up and down the court with their strong, muscular calves and broad shoulders. And I have seen many (some I even dated) make the winning basket. That's gotta count for something.
Verdict: Half a check for dating ballers with skill!
4. Win an award, trophy, or prize.
Check! I've won plenty, some even for stuff where I beat someone out for the award.
And, the streak continues. I got a Top Shelf award just last year...well, my book got it.
5. Learn an instrument.
Pah! My musical prowess is as strong as my balling skills. But wait, it didn't say master it. So yeah, okay, there was the recorder in the fourth grade. I learned that with eight more years to spare on the expiration.
Verdict: Woo friggin' who, I was a prodigy based on Reese's standards.
6. Go back stage at a gig.
Did you not read April 5th's blog? Oh crap, but wait, I was a sophomore in college, so I missed the requirement by one year. Bah!
Verdict: Half a check. Sorry I wasn't a road raging, hip hop groping groupie a year earlier, Reese's.
7. Meet your idol.
I'm not easily star struck. As a matter of fact, I define star differently than most. For as obsessed as I am with pop culture, I simply could give a rat's behind about celebrity. Therefore and thus I don't know that I've ever idolized anyone, to put it bluntly.
However, a few years ago I met Francine Pascal, creator of the Sweet Valley High and I was definitely giggly like a school girl because I'm a total book nerd. Does that count?
Verdict: Stuff it, Reese's. Not every teen has a perpetual crush on anyone the media says they should adore.
8. Play a part in your favorite TV show.
I don't even remember what my favorite TV show was, back then. But I do know I've never played in one so...
Verdict: Goose egg
9. Meet someone with your own name.
All the time. I've met plenty Paula's.
However, it wasn't until I went to register my domain name that I realized Paula Chase was taken by someone who is a folk singer. I didn't meet her but she is the reason my website is Paula Chase Hyman and not Paula Chase, like on my books.
Verdict: Thanks Reese's for an easy one. Way to throw us a bone and only half way through the list, no less.
10. Make a discovery.
Ummm, like something significant to mankind or like discovering that the path between my now husband (and then boyfriend's) house and the next cul-de-sac was primo for making out? That was a discovery and some might say a significant one.
Verdict: Gotta go with check here.
11. Get away with the perfect practical joke.
As in, like the perfect murder where no one knows you did it? What would be the point in that?! Half the beauty of a practical joke is that people know you were the one who pulled it.
Verdict: Reese's explain!
12. Own a pointless collection.
Err...ummm...I collected stamps once, but only ended up with a few. So it wasn't so much a collection as a few random stamps that couldn't be used to mail anything.
Verdict: Check!
13. Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary.
Oh that's so establishment. Look, I've invented plenty words or at least have found multiple uses of my own for existing words. I don't need Websters to validate me. And not for nothing, once the dictionary christens it, it loses its edge. RIP Bling!
Verdict: Check, for inventing "cutty sark" as a term for your best friend. Do I care that it was the name of a whiskey first? No..
14. Conquer your biggest fear.
Dying? I'm still working on that.
15. Raise money for charity.
Yup. Another easy one for me. Well, does it count that my parents actually did all the selling of tickets and wrapping paper and candy for the charities "I" supported?
Verdict: Half a check. Must split honors with the 'rents.
16. Pass your driving the first time.
Yeah, thanks for bringing up one of the single most humiliating experiences of my life, Reese's. No, no I did not pass my driving test the first time. Geez! And I ask you, why do you have to parallel park to get a license?! What does parallel parking have to do with driving?!
To this day I only parallel park if there is absolutely zero other alternative and that's pretty darned rare.
Verdict: No check and the bad memories of that disappointing day now linger. Great!
17. Complete a road trip coast to coast.
What am I, insane? I hate driving, which BTW has nothing to do with why I failed my driver's test. It has to do with commuting daily as an adult.
But prior to that, the longest drive I ever took was from Maryland to Alabama then to Orlando and it FELT like driving coast to coast.
Verdict: No check, but I'm not shedding tears over this one.
18. Reach 18 years of age.
And how does one reach the age of 18 prior to turning 18, Reese's? Huh? How?
Verdict: Still feel my life is quite fulfilled despite scoring only 8 before I was eighteen. Perhaps I need some Reese's life counseling. Off to buy a Reese cup, now. I hear it holds the secret to living forever.
Yeah, because Reese's is a known expert on living life to its fullest.
Well it got me thinking. A most dangerous thing in most cases. I think I've lived a pretty full life. That doesn't mean I could die happy tomorrow, because there are plenty things I still want/need to do. Hear that Gods of Fate!
Anyway, but because Reese's is a renown source on how to grab life's brass ring, I thought I'd see just how full my life has been. I'm looking at the list below both in terms of whether I accomplished any of these things before 18, which full disclosure was some time ago, and if I've accomplished them since.
1. Ride the world's biggest roller coaster.
I was deathly afraid of roller coasters until I was about thirteen when my father forced me to ride one in Myrtle Beach. I was hooked, immediately, but riding the biggest by 18? No.
Kingsdominion and Six Flags were the closest parks, within driving distance, and while you risked whiplash on most of KD's rickety wooden coasters, none of them stood at record-breaking heights.
However, I did ride Six Flags' Superman coaster about five years ago, well beyond the 18 mark and it occurred to me that very day, as I rode up the ninety degree incline, that I was too old to be trying to conquer bigger and faster coasters.
Thanks Six Flags for curing me of my roller coaster obsession!
Verdict: Half a check for braving all of the coasters within my reach.
2. Bungee jump!
Yeah right! Look, bungee jumping looked stupid when it came out and it looks stupid now. Come to think of it, I don't even know if bungee jumping was invented when I was eighteen. It may have been something that came a few years after, when I was in college. Either way, didn't do it, never would do it, ain't gonna happen Reese's.
Verdict: Pffft!
3. Score the winning goal/basket
I love *watching* basketball. I adore ballers who look all sexy running up and down the court with their strong, muscular calves and broad shoulders. And I have seen many (some I even dated) make the winning basket. That's gotta count for something.
Verdict: Half a check for dating ballers with skill!
4. Win an award, trophy, or prize.
Check! I've won plenty, some even for stuff where I beat someone out for the award.
And, the streak continues. I got a Top Shelf award just last year...well, my book got it.
5. Learn an instrument.
Pah! My musical prowess is as strong as my balling skills. But wait, it didn't say master it. So yeah, okay, there was the recorder in the fourth grade. I learned that with eight more years to spare on the expiration.
Verdict: Woo friggin' who, I was a prodigy based on Reese's standards.
6. Go back stage at a gig.
Did you not read April 5th's blog? Oh crap, but wait, I was a sophomore in college, so I missed the requirement by one year. Bah!
Verdict: Half a check. Sorry I wasn't a road raging, hip hop groping groupie a year earlier, Reese's.
7. Meet your idol.
I'm not easily star struck. As a matter of fact, I define star differently than most. For as obsessed as I am with pop culture, I simply could give a rat's behind about celebrity. Therefore and thus I don't know that I've ever idolized anyone, to put it bluntly.
However, a few years ago I met Francine Pascal, creator of the Sweet Valley High and I was definitely giggly like a school girl because I'm a total book nerd. Does that count?
Verdict: Stuff it, Reese's. Not every teen has a perpetual crush on anyone the media says they should adore.
8. Play a part in your favorite TV show.
I don't even remember what my favorite TV show was, back then. But I do know I've never played in one so...
Verdict: Goose egg
9. Meet someone with your own name.
All the time. I've met plenty Paula's.
However, it wasn't until I went to register my domain name that I realized Paula Chase was taken by someone who is a folk singer. I didn't meet her but she is the reason my website is Paula Chase Hyman and not Paula Chase, like on my books.
Verdict: Thanks Reese's for an easy one. Way to throw us a bone and only half way through the list, no less.
10. Make a discovery.
Ummm, like something significant to mankind or like discovering that the path between my now husband (and then boyfriend's) house and the next cul-de-sac was primo for making out? That was a discovery and some might say a significant one.
Verdict: Gotta go with check here.
11. Get away with the perfect practical joke.
As in, like the perfect murder where no one knows you did it? What would be the point in that?! Half the beauty of a practical joke is that people know you were the one who pulled it.
Verdict: Reese's explain!
12. Own a pointless collection.
Err...ummm...I collected stamps once, but only ended up with a few. So it wasn't so much a collection as a few random stamps that couldn't be used to mail anything.
Verdict: Check!
13. Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary.
Oh that's so establishment. Look, I've invented plenty words or at least have found multiple uses of my own for existing words. I don't need Websters to validate me. And not for nothing, once the dictionary christens it, it loses its edge. RIP Bling!
Verdict: Check, for inventing "cutty sark" as a term for your best friend. Do I care that it was the name of a whiskey first? No..
14. Conquer your biggest fear.
Dying? I'm still working on that.
15. Raise money for charity.
Yup. Another easy one for me. Well, does it count that my parents actually did all the selling of tickets and wrapping paper and candy for the charities "I" supported?
Verdict: Half a check. Must split honors with the 'rents.
16. Pass your driving the first time.
Yeah, thanks for bringing up one of the single most humiliating experiences of my life, Reese's. No, no I did not pass my driving test the first time. Geez! And I ask you, why do you have to parallel park to get a license?! What does parallel parking have to do with driving?!
To this day I only parallel park if there is absolutely zero other alternative and that's pretty darned rare.
Verdict: No check and the bad memories of that disappointing day now linger. Great!
17. Complete a road trip coast to coast.
What am I, insane? I hate driving, which BTW has nothing to do with why I failed my driver's test. It has to do with commuting daily as an adult.
But prior to that, the longest drive I ever took was from Maryland to Alabama then to Orlando and it FELT like driving coast to coast.
Verdict: No check, but I'm not shedding tears over this one.
18. Reach 18 years of age.
And how does one reach the age of 18 prior to turning 18, Reese's? Huh? How?
Verdict: Still feel my life is quite fulfilled despite scoring only 8 before I was eighteen. Perhaps I need some Reese's life counseling. Off to buy a Reese cup, now. I hear it holds the secret to living forever.
posted by Paula at 12:00 AM
3 Comments:
Um, well... not to brag or anything, Paula, but I did win second place in a science fair once. And I played the flute from 5-7th grades. I passed my driver's test on the first try (parallel parking was NOT a requirement). So I've got numbers 4, 5 and 16 all wrapped up.
Can we add number 19 to the list?
19) Live long enough so that you know life can't be measured by a list?
An aside: Is bungee jumping still in vogue? It seems so early '90's or something? :)
Ooh lucky. Where do you live that the dreaded parallel parking isn't required. Hate stupid parallel parking!
Yes, bungee jumping is very 90's. I think it's been overtaken by some other act of craziness!
I'm in Colorado. And I still can't parrallel park. I don't even bother trying.
I think for a while bungee jumping was replaced by girls getting a "tramp stamp" tattoo (on the small of their back). But I don't know if anything has replaced the tramp stamp yet.
*Though if this list were for adults it might include "write a book and try to get it published."
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